i dun kill people, don't rob, don't steal(anymore), don't terrorize kids, don't extort.
i tried helping others but they don't accept it.
i gave advices but no one heeds it...
until the bad things happen and come back running, how? help? should have listened to you.
why do people look at me with a different point of view?
Am i really such an unfillial son?
i tried my best mum, i stayed away from home hoping it'll be better, less scoldings and all, you always said i messed up the house, and when i'm around nobody dares to come visit but NO! i got scolded even more for treating this house like a hotel, come and go as you like, i tried to stay away from you cause i'm tired of getting scoldings for things that i did not commit and pointless quarrels, I'll remember you're biasness few days back, i was tired from school and i went for an afternoon nap when dragged all the way into the night, you went down to get some stuff and didn't bring your keys and left the door unlock, Norman locked the door and went to bath, you came back knocking, NO, BANGING on the DOOR and WINDOWS, i woke up and open the door for you, "WHERE IS YOUR BROTHER?!" pissed with that, i went back to sleep. my heart was racing so fast i couldn't go back to sleep. I got up and sat in front of the computer, Norman got out of the bath and wad did you do? asked him with you super fucked up act nice voice "you locked you door when i was downstairs and i couldnt get in you know?" how fucked is that?
I tried to stay home and i did, i came home right after school and stayed home till next morning when school starts but all i get is more scolding, i never keep this never keep that, whole day play computer, watch tv, never keep shoes never sweep floor. i tried mum, i really tried to please you...but to no avail...
mum please forgive me if i'm really a disgrace to you...really...
i seriously have no more energy to quarrel with you anymore.
Am i really a disgrace the Christian society?
I haven't been going to church for a very long time. I tried to go these past weeks...
unforseen consequences...
I finally found time for church... go to church before soccer...
ok so there's class and fellowship...
I smoke, i drink and i have tattoos...
Yup i've done it all, except drugs...
and the Bible forbids all these...
Yes mum you're right... how do i tell the people out there i'm a Christian?
i would be disgracing the Christian church if i said i was a Christian.
What would people think? "OOOHHH so that's what a Christian is like... a smoker a drinker AND EVEN GOT TATTOO?! Christian's are evillllllll...."
Yalor..What has church got to do with me?! What has the people there have to do with me?!
i dun need to care...
and god damn you mum this morning i was talking to dad, and i said thus SUNDAY i'm going to the FERRY TERMINAL with KEITH. NOT THE PEOPLE FROM CHURCH!
you want the exact sentence?
Dad - "where are you?"
Noel - "home"
Dad - "doing what? bath already? eat already?"
Noel - "mmmmm"
Dad - "lIAR, your mmm means dun have, think i dunno..."
Noel - "hehe...oh ya i need $50 tis sunday."
Dad - "for what?"
Noel - "im going to the ferry terminal this Sunday to book the boat tickets to Bintan!
Dad - "thought that time give you $250 already?"
Noel - "not enough...that one for the room only"
Dad - "ok who you going with?"
Noel - " keith they all"
Dad - "ok"
.......
Ok so now i'm using the church's name la?
Am i really a disgrace to my school?
I disgrace ITE? oh gosh... you dun need me to disgrace ITE... the muts there can handle it..
i disgrace holy high? omg mum you need a fucking tight slap on your face to wake up your bloody idea...i wear it's uniform with pride. if i want to disgrace it why do i still play soccer for them? get my ankle twisted? risk my life climbing up 3storey high structures? getting sun burnt for competitions even though im out of that school?
Am i a lousy leader?
Yes i might smoke, and drink and have tattoos...
BUT you must get this straight.
i don't promote the things i do to them.
